About

thismoi

Haiooooooo!

My name is Aubrey, and this is your daily affirmation:

You’re beautiful, amazing, smart, funny, and you just made a new friend! Congrats!

I’m just hangin’ in the blogosphere, chatting about my complete inability to be great. Whether it be my credit score, my job, my stupid (albeit awesome) dogs, and the struggle my body went through to make a baby, I am great….. minus 8. Or eleventy billion.

And yet? I still manage to love my life. I have the most kickass husband in the world, and we make life an adventure. We laugh a lot to get through the aforementioned great – 8.

I love to bake, to read, to paint, and to make music, and he loves to make movies, to play video games, and to talk pop culture. Life can be frustrating, but it can also be awesome. And that’s what we’re here to talk about.

Advertisements

10 thoughts on “About

  1. This is a story every doula and mother should read. I am a longtime doula and I wanted to stop reading at “She said that had I let her know beforehand that I was taking the test, I could have prepared for it in such a way that I would have passed it.” You are right, this person should not be practicing.

    If we do not respect providers — all providers — we are in the WRONG business, doulas!

    Aubrey, I would like to share this post on my website: NestingInstinctsLA.com. May I have permission?

    • Kyleen Sherwood says:

      Additionally, I pray that you have been able to file a formal grievance against this doula, because you are absolutely right: She should not be practicing!

  2. MamaCait says:

    I read you story and it made me so sad, but very happy it ended well ,and you and your baby girl are healthy. I’m not sure where in KY you live, but I live in KY also. Sadly, your story sounds very familiar and very much the same as my closest friend’s experience with her first doula. I am very much thinking it may be the same woman. That was in 2010 and she has not used that doula for any subsequent births. I had two great doulas for my vbac deliveries. They can be such a great resource and it makes me so sad for that you got a bad egg. I was glad to see it hasn’t made you scared of doulas or natural childbirth. You sound like a great mama and woman. Thank you for sharing this!

  3. Anonymous says:

    Thank you for sharing your story. I know how hard it can be to reflect on a traumatic birth experience. (Ten years later and I am still unable to completely tell my own birth story.).
    Over the past 14 years I have attended around 2000 births. The majority of those births have been beautiful and joyous and miraculous. If I had my way, all births would be glorious celebrations and no one would ever have a birth story like yours to tell. But unfortunately, you are not the first woman I’ve encountered in your situation and it is a sad fact that you will not be the last. It is my hope that your story will educate and empower other women in your situation to speak up before it’s too late.
    Doulas are great! I believe that Ob/Gyns and Certified Nurse-Midwives owe it to themselves and to their patients to get to know the doulas in their community. We have several amazing (and a few not-so-amazing) doulas in my area; and I am familar with most of them. I discuss the role of a doula versus my role as a nurse-midwife with patients who are considering hiring a doula. I have information from the local doulas on hand to provide to interested patients. I also like to invite a woman’s doula to attend a prenatal visit so that we can talk about “the big day” and be sure we’re all on the same page. If a woman asks to do something that I know is unhealthy or unsafe for her or her baby I explain my reasoning and we find a safe, healthy compromise. I HATE that you were encouraged to lie and that you were coached on what to say when you arrived at the hospital!!! There should never be secrecy or dishonesty between a woman and her healthcare provider. That relationship should be based on mutual trust. If a woman doesn’t feel comfortable enough to voice her concerns then it’s time to move on and find a new doctor or midwife or doula. After all, you’re paying for a service and have the right to take your business elsewhere.
    Congratulations on your beautiful baby! I am so glad that this story had a happy ending! I hope that you have many more babies and that you have a better experience next time.

  4. Amanda says:

    I have a frighteningly similar story; my body is numb right now after reading your entry.

    My son was born in March of 2014. There was a doula involved and a NICU stay, an emergency c-section, and a lot of guilt & trauma. The doctors also weren’t sure if my son was going to make it or have brain damage, as he was completely unresponsive while in my womb. I have struggled with anxiety, depression and PTSD since.

    I too, had a doula that grossly overstepped her boundaries and misused her trust. I am still trying to recover from the guilt I feel for making the decisions that I did and allowing myself to be misled during such a critical time.

    I have since filed a grievance against my doula, which was very hard for me to do.

    I would love to get in touch with you. I am very interested in sharing my story. Like you, I feel that more people need to be made aware of situations such as ours and the terrifying consequences that can follow.

    I am thankful for my baby.
    And I am thankful to you for writing this.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s