My Li’l Idiots: How dogs became my children.

Oh dear.

These little girls are my “idiots”, Maeby and Bella.

And when I say “Idiots”, I say that in the most loving way possible, you must understand.

You see, these girls have been my replacement children during the “want babies and can’t have them” season of my life. They pee, poop, vomit, cry, and make trouble like babies, so they’re good practice for the main event, if and when it happens.

Shall I tell you more?

Let me introduce you to Bella!

Oh goodness. This one has been trouble since day one.

She’s a Daddy’s Girl. She is sad when he leaves, and elated when he comes home.

She’s a Nervous Nellie. She likes to observe life outside the window of our second-story apartment, making her hourly rounds with what we lovingly call her “neighborhood watch”

She loves to fetch. She loves to run. No, let me rephrase…. she likes to *outrun*. She WILL NOT be beat.

We picked her up from the back of a pickup truck of puppies in Smiths Grove. I just knew we had to have THAT one. We taught her to sit, lay, roll over, shake, speak, and “twirl”, where she twirls like a ballerina. She also catches ice cubes in the air.

She chews EVERYTHING. In fact, during our last round of storms, she managed to destroy two tennis balls in about 30 minutes. NOT awesome. (Also, this makes for interesting digestive issues.)

Oh my... my little fun ruiner has struck again.

And then there’s *MY* girl. (I love Bella just as much, but she’s a Daddy’s Girl.)

This is my Maeby girl.

She can be found sleeping, snoring, making a weird beeping noise while she’s dreaming, or making a weird clucking sound at the window when she sees dogs she doesn’t know.

She doesn’t do very many tricks…. She can sit on command. And she makes this whiny noise when I ask her to “tell me”.

But she’s the sweetest girl you’ll ever meet.

She never met a food that she knew how to properly chew…. just sort of licks it to death.

She never met a person she knew how to interact with…. again, just sort of licks it to death.

When she plays outside with Bella, and they’re both running, she can never keep up with her fitter, less portly sister. And when she can’t, she simply yips at whoever is in front of her, letting them know that she’s displeased.

We adopted Maeby from the local shelter. She had sad eyes, like she’d seen more in her lifetime than I could even imagine, and when we took her into a visiting area, she just plopped her head on my knee, all knowingly, and I knew that she would be not only a nice balance to our crazy Border Collie, but a great little companion for me.


The role they play in my life is pretty significant. I know a lot of people get all up-in-arms about people having “fur babies”; they think people like ME are a little nuts. And maybe I am! But I have two hilarious dogs who are treated well, and can be almost therapeutic during these crazy, infertile times.

"See? I even *look* like a person when I sit, like this!"

No matter what ails you, a dog can at least make you laugh, and I’ve heard that’s the best medicine.

6 thoughts on “My Li’l Idiots: How dogs became my children.

    • Yesssss, Ami!

      If you’re ever in BG again, we have a huge dog park that we love to take our dogs to. It’s the size of a couple football fields, and it’s fenced in, so they can just roam around and feel things out.

      Sending love to you and your sweet fur baby, too!

  1. Monika Szewerniak says:

    I agree with Colin, your writing is so much fun to read, it’s light, humorous and personal. And not only is laughter the best medicine, but animals are scientifically proven to be therapeutic! I too am a fur mama of three, a dog and two cats. My biggest bond is with my pooch however. My mom constantly tells me I should have a baby instead of treating him like one but then I say, “Why? He is my baby.” Is someting wrong with me?

  2. Uh, I think I’m one of those people who thinks you’re crazy for calling your dogs “furbabies,” but they are stinkin’ cute! And I have no doubt they are theraputic, just like my crazy cats!

    • I definitely don’t call my dogs “Fur-babies” without a hint of sarcasm. They’re obviously not babies…. and I don’t treat them like they are.

      Dogs obviously can’t replace children; this post was much more about how much joy my dogs bring to me when things can be otherwise a bit dreary.

      Also, everybody deals with infertility differently. If anybody wanted to call their animals their “fur-babies” while they were struggling, I wouldn’t hold it against them.

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